|Learn The Secrets Of Having A Secret Relationship
First comes love, then comes Marriage and Monogamy.
Being with one single person for the rest of your life.
Sounds romantic, and it certainly can be a dream if you and your partner are perfectly matched and completely devoted to one another day after day, year after year.
But what happens when your fairy tale romance doesnít quite follow that script?
When family, work, bills, health, and life get in the way of the perfect love you once had with your partner?
What happens is that you and your partner slowly start to drift apart, both emotionally and physically.
She isnít giving you the attention you need; he isnít interested in pleasing you in the bedroom anymore; neither of you is working hard enough to keep the otherís attention.
And pretty soon, your fairy tale romance isnít looking so Ďhappily ever after.í
Love making in particular drops off dramatically after the first few years of marriage, and it is often the first thing to go when there are other problems in the relationship.
This leaves both partners feeling frustrated, unloved, and alone.
Because making love is a vital part of any relationship.
More than that, making love is a vital part of the human experience.
People need love to function.
And marriages where there is no love, or the quality of the love is severely lacking can drive a person crazy.
So what can someone in this situation do?
Where can someone who has found their perfect romance slowly fading away turn?
Some might say couples therapy or counseling or spending more time at church, and while those are valid ways to patch together a romance, there is another way to get the attention that is so desperately lacking from a troubled relationship: a secret affair.
A Hidden affair is a relationship one partner has with another person (or persons) outside of the marriage or committed relationship.
It is done completely without the knowledge of the other partner in the relationship, and it must, therefore, be conducted in secret.
These secret affairs often require the person to tell lies, make up stories, and cover their tracks so that the affair stays a secret, and this can be quite difficult.
But with the right mindset and the right preparation, the affair can be conducted completely without the knowledge of the other partner.
The secret affair can allow the unhappy person to get the sexual attention and gratification that is missing from their marriage or committed relationship, and it can help them turn around their situation and be happy in their marriage once again.
The hardest aspect of any secret affair is, of course, keeping it a secret.
This is particularly hard in todayís electronic society where every action taken online can be traced and every electronic device has a camera.
Only a truly savvy person will get away with an affair, and they have to be ever vigilant to cover their tracks.
Do Not Tell Anyone
It may seem obvious, but if you want a Hidden affair to truly be secret, you canít tell anyone.
You may think your best friend won't tell a soul, but thatís not often the case.
Word travels fast.
Even telling one single soul can jeopardize your entire secret affair, so confide in no one.
Keep A Secret Email Account
The biggest mistake people having a secret affair makes is using their existing email address to contact their new lover.
You may think your husband or wife doesnít have your password, but how do you really know that?
How many times has she seen you type it into the laptop without you realizing it?
If your partner knows about an online account that you have, you have to assume that your partner can access it.
So create a completely new email account that your partner doesnít know about.
Never use it when your partner is home, and delete the browser history immediately after using the new account.
If you can use this account on an entirely separate device, even better.
You may also want to delete all messages regarding the Hidden affair after they are read.
If you need an address or phone number, store it as a message in your phone disguised as something for work.
For instance, if a potential lover named Joanna gives you her number in an email, put the number in your phoneís directory under a different name, say Joe A, and make it a Ďworkí contact.
Then delete the email.
That way, if your wife ever discovered this number, sheíd have no proof that it was from Joanna.
Even if she called it, you could just say you had entered the wrong number, and thereís no email trail showing otherwise.
Another separate account you need to have is a separate bank account.
Even if the things you buy when you are with your lover are innocuous, dinner even, the paper trail that follows debit and credit cards is hard to work against.
Your partner might notice an increase in charges for eating out, or charges that are out of the normal geographical area of where you shop.
You can easily cover up where youíve been when itís just your word against your spouseís, but you canít argue a bank statement with exact charges and locations.
Just get a secret account and slowly filter some extra cash into that account each month.
Never Take Them Home
No matter how iron clad you think your spouseís schedule is, donít sneak your lover into the home you share.
Aside from it being extremely risky in terms of being discovered (your spouse might have secret cams set up in the house, your lover might leave a piece of clothing or jewelry, or neighbors might see whatís going on), if your spouse DOES find out about your affair, nothing will hurt them more than knowing you brought them in to the space you shared.
They will get over everything else in time, but bringing this new person into your shared space is a big no.
Have an cover story is a part of a secret affair.
You have to lie.
But you have to lie smartly.
Try to stay as close to the truth as you can to avoid leaving gaping, obvious holes in your stories.
If you fabricate something from scratch, itís easy to get caught with no answer and no way out.
But if you tell your spouse that you went to a club or a party last night, replacing your lover with your buddy from high school, youíre more likely to be convincing.
And always be sure to practice your lies and stories many times over, before and after the lie, so that you can always corroborate and tell the same story again and again.
Everywhere you go these days, cameras are pointing at you, whether you like it or not.
You might think that by taking your lover to a shop youíve never been to with your spouse, youíre safe.
But if youíre in the town you live in, how do you know your spouseís best friend isnít in the crowd?
Or that you wonít get caught on camera walking in the grocery store?
Or that you wonít be in the background of a photo that ends up on the website that your wife looks at?
And with everyone having a super high powered camera on them at all times (smartphones), you have to be smart enough to stay off the record with your lover.
Make sure to only go to places far outside your town or neighborhood, and be discreet.
When you are out with your lover, you should avoid very public places and open spaces and instead find quiet, private spots to enjoy.
Aside from technical clues that you are having a Hidden affair, it is wise to be on the alert for emotional cues that you may be giving off.
Secret affairs can also be hard to keep secret because of the emotional stress they put on both the person having the affair and the lover who may become too attached.
For the person having the affair, the guilt of stepping outside the relationship can alter their emotions and their actions, tipping off the other partner that something is wrong.
On the other hand, they may also become so much happier and more satisfied once the affair begins that the spouse or partner becomes suspicious of the change.
The lover, or the person with whom the secret affair is taking place with, may become jealous, angry, or vindictive, and often can purposely leave clues and trails that will get the person in trouble with their spouse to sabotage their marriage.
When an affair gets past the point of being light and fun, break it off before the outside person can get too attached.
And always end things on a positive note so that you don't end up with slashed tires, a breakup note on your windshield, and a lot of explaining to do to your spouse.
Where To Find An Affair
Once youíve decided youíre ready to find a lover outside of your marriage or relationship and youíre ready to deal with the rigors of keeping it hidden, youíre ready to find a partner.
People you already know and are attracted to might seem like a good fit, but you canít have someone that close to your life become your lover if you want to keep it secret.
Instead use the internet to connect you not only to people outside your circle, but also like minded people who are looking for a discreet, private affair.
Youíll be able to find someone that is ready and prepared for a relationship without strings and commitments that has to be kept extremely private.
Many top notch internet sites will match you geographically with others in your area looking for an affair, and they will allow you to post a profile.
The advantage of these sites are that they are professional and secure (as long as you clear your browser history), and you can be quite confident that youíre going to meet real people offline that are in the same position as you are.
Even before you meet you can chat, exchange numbers, and get a feel for if the possibility for an affair is right.
So perhaps youíre still wondering why anyone would want to have a secret affair.
For many people, an affair is something bad.
It means a failed relationship, and it can bring about a lot of heart break.
And truth be told, a poorly executed secret affair will destroy a marriage.
But a Hidden affair does not have to be a bad thing.
Most times the people looking for secret affairs are simply looking for additional attention that they are not getting from home, and once they get it, they can go right back to their marriages.
In fact, they can go right back to their marriages as much happier, much more fulfilled people.
And this can allow them to fix the issues they are having with their spouse without resentment or pain.
Many couples have actually benefitted a great deal from a properly executed secret affair as it leaves the person having the affair in a much better place, allowing them to do what it necessary to fix their marriage.
Secret affairs are not for everybody and they require a considerable amount of work to execute properly.
But monogamy is hard work and itís just not for everybody.
We all need to feel loved and we all need attention.
You can fight with your spouse to try and get this attention only to have more arguments, more pain, and more resentment, or you can have a secret affair and get the attention you need while also putting your marriage back together.
Having a secret affair as part of your marriage or long term relationship might not be the fairy tale image that you imagined having, but it can get you to the happily ever after.